The Power of No…

Most people view ‘no’ as an infamous word, thinking that people who use it often have a negative attitude towards life.  But ‘no’ can be one of the most powerful words we choose to use when making life-altering decisions.  In my case, I am tapping into the ‘power of no’ every day in my small victories, and I feel my self making conscious efforts to say ‘no’ to certain bad habits I would have normally said yes to.  Every time I use this word, I take back a little bit of that power and hold that food (amongst other things) has had over me, and those momentary victories are leading me toward a path I have long waited to see-one of willpower and determination.  And as I am saying ‘yes’ to positive changes in my life (such as ‘yes’ to doing my homework!) I am incorporating more ‘nos’ into my daily routine.  But keep in mind, that ‘no’ is a VERY powerful word, and CAN lead people down the wrong road if not used sensibly. Always consider carefully which areas of your life are lacking or overflowing, and see where the trimming is needed.  Love is never one of those areas, just as time with loved ones should always be kept at a healthy high! But the sedentary life style that can plague us with excuses that become false realities is always in need of a big overhaul.  And the habits that hurt us or those we love should always be the first nixed out by ‘no’.   Never say ‘no’ to the challenges that have positive outcomes, and never use ‘no’ when it comes time to be thoughtful, grateful, gracious, kind, merciful, forgiving, hopeful, and of course-loving. You have one of the greatest forces on this entire planet resting on upon your lips, waiting to be uttered- please use it wisely.

Little Steps Lead to Big Destinations!

So today I decided to stop my normal habit of big-leap crash-dieting when I have a special event to go to (in this case a Baptism) as it usually results in my backsliding horribly when the event is past. I started thinking about how weight gets put on.  It isn’t usually one day you are 50 lbs heavier. No, it happens in small steps brought on by many, many small acts of weakness. I therefore decided, the only way to beat a bad habit is to use its own tactics against it. Today, I took small steps in the right direction. I didn’t rash diet, but cut back a tiny bit at each meal, enough to make a noticeable difference in the way I felt about myself today. We are so ready to beat ourselves up when we make the tiniest mistakes, but why not praise ourselves for our tiny achievements as well?  Well, it is the end of the day, and I was so proud of my many small achievements today, each a step in the right direction.  You add them all up and someday, it may lead to the completion of an ultimately greater goal.

It’s Been Awhile!

For so many things, it has been awhile.  Since I’ve written, for one- but that can only be contributed to a schedule that is steadily growing busier every time I turn around.  Time has whisked past us before we could feel its presence, and now I am wondering how much longer do I have to try to attain my goals? Someone gave me a quote by a person I can not remember, but to paraphrase, it went something like this: “The most precious, priceless gift we have that not even the richest person on earth could buy even should they have every penny in existence is time. We are blessed with 24 hours a day, and we need to treat every moment of them as the priceless gifts that they are.”  Ever since I heard this quote, it has reminded me to make the most of my time, but I also feel that in an effort to do so, I have over burdened myself. The hats of motherhood, wife, student, etc are flying on and off my head as I try to meet everyone’s needs and I don’t know where it is all leading to other than to something that was keeping me busy! I have to try to meet time as it passes with grace and a heart willing to let it work on me in the ways I need most.  I need to use time to help me restore my soul, as it has been feeling heavier lately in between those moments that I am everywhere at once with the larger work load. Time is such a blessing, one we can not afford to neglect or take for granted. May your time be well loved.

Downcast…

This is not about overeating tonight, because today in my sorrow, I have not overeaten.  I actually have barely been hungry.  A deep depression has set in after someone I dearly and wholeheartedly trusted betrayed that trust and hurt me in ways unspeakable.  I don’t have the words to express this pain, because it is one I so rarely encounter- like an elusive beast roaming the woods. My mind has been unable to settle and I feel a tightening in my chest that is longing to be relieved by tears, a good scream, anything.  But food is not on the agenda…not even the loves of my life are able to remove this cloud and I don’t know what to do.  I pray and hope that I can find my way back home, but the road is so lonely right now, and so vague.  I will hope, I will try to dream, and I will try to find my way out through faith.  Without it, what more do I have to hold on to?

Thanksgiving…

Yesterday we re-invited into our lives a person who has only caused us pain but who, like all of us, is deserving of forgiveness- not because of anything the person did, but because of what HE has done (HE= Jesus).  So…they came by yesterday and it was hard but quick, like ripping off a band-aid and today we gave thanks for all the many blessings we receive everyday in so many ways- this situation being one of them.  Did I overeat? Of course, and not proudly but I also did not OVER eat…and I skipped the desserts as, believe it or not, I am not a sweets person. I was full but not so bad I couldn’t move and I enjoyed time with family I hadn’t seen in years. Oh the peace and laughter and love that filled the house was beautiful.  This holiday was one of true thanksgiving for we thanked the Lord and gave back His love to each other.  We reap what we sow and we sowed goodness and happiness.  I am so happy tonight- full and happy.  And also aware that tomorrow is another day closer to my goals and another day with the family I love. May you all be so blessed.

A warm hug can heal…

I was very down when I woke up today because of certain people who shall not be named, and I was just over anxious all morning.  But before I went to work, my husband came home and the healing began- with a hug.  A sweet, loving, make-everything-right hug that just warmed me to my heart and reminded me of why I get up every morning and why I try so hard everyday to be a better version of myself than I was the day before.  I may not always succeed in this, but the hope and effort is there because there is a man in my life who gives me the courage and the confidence to find the will to try. And all this helps me to believe and trust more in myself.  This also shows me that I don’t need to chow down for 5 hours to feel better- I have a much more calorie-free and fulfilling method of stress relief.  I highly recommend we all get a dose of love when we are down…it works wonders.

 

Sigh…

Well, it happened. Someone who I do not like or get along with in this family, someone who hurt me badly and who makes me cringe at the sound of their name called our home today.  Just seeing the number on the caller ID (yes I screen calls!) made my stomach turn, and I went into panic mode. And so! Alas, my heart and will failed and I snacked…thank goodness it was only cereal and not the container of mint chocolate chip icecream in the fridge, but still. I let this person have power over me by allowing myself to fail because of them.  It angers me so much.  I wish I were not so weak, and I wish I could just forget what happened.  The rest of the family treats this person as if they can do no wrong even though they have done plenty and driven most of us crazy with their antics. But me, I am not able to pretend I like a person. I am not able to pretend the things of the past don’t exist.  I can forgive, and I have forgiven, but I can never forget.  I try to simply live as if that PERSON no longer exists, and when this happens- that they somehow contact us- well, it is like seeing someone who has risen from the dead, and not in a good way! I put all my emotions in my tummy and I think the thing I have the biggest challenge with is separating the two. When I learn to do that, I know I will be able to rejoice in many successes. Ugh…tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully I can ease my heart with some rest, a good book, and a big hug when my husband gets home.

A Partner in Crime…

My husband and I both love food more than we should, and have both used food to ease emotional woes.  Well, now my partner in crime has been my partner in battle.  For the past couple days, he and I are monitoring each other- not in a mean, obsessive way but in a mindful way.  We tell each other what we’ve eaten that day when we didn’t eat together and share our struggles.  This has helped me to cut down my caloric intake today by 350 calories. I always keep track of what I eat during the day mentally, and when I tallied it up I realized that I had had only 3 meals today, no snacks, and been subconsciously monitoring myself.  It was so strange to think, “Wow…I did it and didn’t notice!”  That also proves that I don’t need those 350 calories, but I was just eating them anyway. This is a wonderful start I feel to hopefully many more successes to come, and all thanks to my partner in crime <3.

A better day…

I had a little chocolate, a little Subway, but I had a whole lot of success.  I fought so many urges today after so many bad days now past, and I am thrilled. Baby steps make all the difference.  It is with every single little flap, tumble, and fall that a bird learns to fly…revel in the successes no matter how small and learn from the mistakes.  That is how we grow, but in my case, hopefully not grow outward! lol…

Sadness and eating…

Today was one really, really wear you down and leave you broken kind of day.  My family had little to do with it, as the only trouble they gave me today was that my two little ones had new cardboard boxes to play with and went to town! (A lot of noise followed…lol) But just everything else seemed to stress me out and leave me feeling so depressed that I had a moment of weakness and ate more than I should have. Of course carb-loading is the answer we eaters will usually run to when we are down, and I am no exception. The only perk is that since I cook healthy, I over ate with healthy food, but still…not good…not good at all. I am angry at myself– where is my accountability to myself? I lost it in my sadness, and I failed this time. I was thinking, maybe I need to find some other outlet to devote my stress to.  My job is unfortunately very physically demanding so I am too exhausted to take up kick boxing or anything else that would allow me to legally kick and punch people.  I have tried art, but I often get annoyed at how long it takes to make my pictures look the way I want them to- shame on me for my lack of patience! I came here, hoping to vent and relieve some of this stress…and I have to say it is helping. I think now I will settle down with a warm tea, a Catherine Cookson book, and say a thankful prayer tonight and a hopeful one that peace may be restored to my heart before another day raises her head over the horizon. Enough of my whining! I will shake this off, and will do my best to make tomorrow more memorable for all the right reasons.